BRAZILIAN STAR WARS

BRAZILIAN STAR WARS

1978

by Ham

The original title of this movie, as you can see from the picture above, is Os Trapalhões Na Guerra Dos Planetas (The Bunglers In The War Of The Planets). However, the movie is more commonly known as the Brazilian Star Wars. It features "The Bunglers" (also sometimes called "The Tramps"), a Brazilian comedy team that starred in various films in the 1970s and 1980s. So, officially, Os Trapalhões Na Guerra Dos Planetas was made as a comedy. However, the comedy is supposed to be centered around the slapstick humor of The Bunglers, the movie itself was intended to be a semi-serious story (much like some of the old Abbott & Costello films). I really don't believe they tried to make the movie as absurd as it is. I don't think anyone could try to make something as genuinely absurd as this film.

Keep in mind that, except for the lyrics from the music in the Disco Scene (see video clip below), the movie is entirely in Portuguese. I've seen some reviews of the movie that mention that the copy they watched had humorous, poorly translated English subtitles. I was not so lucky. My copy contains no subtitles at all. So, I will review the movie without being able to understand a single word that was spoken. How's that for absurd dedication?

The movie starts with The Bunglers, in their soon-to-be-infamous Jeep, being chased by several other cars along a beach. After what seems like a 45 minute chase, The Bunglers finally get away from the people that were chasing them. Since it's late, they decide to lay down on the beach and go to sleep. In one of the first of many "Huh?" moments of the movie, a turtle with a lit candle on it's back starts walking among the sleeping Bunglers. Two of them avoid getting burned by turtle, but this guy wasn't so lucky.

I had a friend in high school who claimed he could do that after eating tacos.

The Bunglers put out the fire and look up to see a very realistic looking spaceship.

I soon found out that the special effects and costumes in this film are only rivaled by my Fifth Grade production of The Muppet Show. Anyway, the ship lands and a Luke Skywalker-looking character comes walking out to greet The Bunglers (To make things easier, from now on I'll just refer to the characters by their Star Wars name - not the "blahblahblah-looking character").

Luke has a long Portuguese conversation with The Bunglers and convinces them to come aboard his ship. As they are walking into the ship, they hear a loud growl which scares the Bungles out of them. After they finally make their way onto the ship, Luke is kind enough to bring their Jeep along as well. In the ship, The Bunglers meet Chewbacca, the one who's growl scared them earlier. This Chewbacca looks like a Wookie perhaps had a baby with a toothless wino. I also enjoy Chewie's outfit - brown vest, white shirt with puffy sleeves, and an odd Thrift Store-style skirt.

Luke and Chewie take the passengers to their home planet of Tatooine.

Upon flying over Tatooine, our heroes see a group of Sand People attack a group of Jawas. Or is it the other way around? I guess it doesn't matter. Accompanied by a disco music soundtrack, Luke, Chewie, and The Bunglers land on the planet and fight the Sand People. Or the Jawas. Or both, I'm not sure. Click here to see a clip someone else posted on YouTube of this scene and see if you can figure it out. Luke employs some wrestling moves (drop toe hold, monkey flip) in his fighting style, while Chewbacca prefers punching and shoving his opponents. Chewie then takes a second to sit on his fallen victims and enjoy a cigarette.

When the battle is almost over, Darth Vader sneaks out of a hut, dragging Princess Leia with him.

Darth flies away in his ship (or is it Luke's ship?), which scares away almost all of the remaining Sand People and Jawas. One of the Sand People (or Jawa?) sneaks up to a hut and throws a bomb in the opening. The hut blows up and four women, wearing fluorescent wardrobes provided by Fruit Stripe Gum, appear. Yes, for those keeping score, this is another one of those "Huh?" moments.

The Bunglers and the women seemingly fall in love with each other. 4 Bunglers? 4 Fluorescent women? It must be fate. The Bunglers and their dates then get in their Jeep and follow Luke and Chewie, who drive their Landspeeder (of course).

You can probably guess where they're going. That's right, Mos Eisley Cantina.

There is no music being played in the cantina, just odd sounds. Also, the creatures inside are performing some odd sort of dance. They just stand near each other and put their heads together.

Luke breaks away from the others to explore the cantina. He spots Obi-Wan Kenobi in a back room playing some sort of piano.

The Bunglers and Fluorescent Girls start dancing in the main room while Luke and Obi-Wan get into a karate-style fight in the back room. One of The Bunglers and his date spot a vendor that has blasters for sale.

Before buying them, he tries them out on several unsuspecting creatures. Some disappear when shot, others simply freeze. Back on the main dance floor, the strange sounds stop (maybe because Obi-Wan is distracted from his piano?) and disco music starts. The creatures hate the music and cover their ears while The Bunglers, Fluorescents, and Chewbacca all start to dance. One creature fancies one of the girls and tries dancing with her. One of The Bunglers pushes him away, which starts a huge brawl. Meanwhile, in the back room, Luke chokes out Obi-Wan. He then hears the ruckus in the main room and joins the fight. There is just no proper way to describe the fabulous absurdity of this scene, so I've uploaded a clip to YouTube.

Eventually, all of our heroes escape from the cantina. In the next scene they are all gathered around the Jeep sharing a small bit of food. They get into an argument and one of The Bunglers takes off, possibly to find some food. He finds a large egg and tries to break it. Out pops a large chicken that scares away our Bungling friend.

I don't think I've seen a more ridiculous chicken this side of The Gobbledy Gooker.

After The Bungler runs away he spots Darth Vader and a bunch of Stormtroopers (dressed in black) hanging around Luke's Landspeeder. He quickly runs back to his group to tell them. I wonder if he told them about the chicken too. Damn you, Portuguese! Now I'll never know! Anyway, they try to sneak back to the Landspeeder but run into an invisible force field. One of The Bunglers gets the brilliant idea to dig his way under the force field. Of course, this only causes more trouble as the ground collapses under their feet and they become trapped in an underground cave. Are you following all of this? In the underground cave they spot a giant spider, and they quickly run away.

Come on, your telling me Luke and Chewie couldn't have kicked that spider's ass? Do spiders have asses?

They all somehow climb back up to the planet's surface and then sit around to relax for a minute. Luke daydreams about Princess Leia, complete with a Chariots Of Fire-style slow motion run toward each other on the beach. One of The Bunglers, on the other hand, daydreams about the car chase they had back on Earth. Chewbacca then shows up with some form of weapon (or something). They all get in the Jeep and drive away. They then run into some fruit hanging amongst some trees. The Bunglers, hungry as can be, try to eat some of the fruit. I never expected what happened next. Yes, The Bunglers get into a fight with the fruit. Just when you thought it couldn't get any more absurd than the Disco Fight scene, I now present to you a video clip of the Fruit Fight scene.

After they escape from the dreaded Fruit Trees, the movie cuts to a scene of Luke and three of The Bunglers carrying a large box toward Darth (who is holding Princess Leia) and his Stormtroopers. Luke and Darth exchange the large box for Leia. Luke starts to hug Leia but then realizes, in the "Scooby Doo moment" of the movie, that it's not Leia at all but a creature in a Leia mask!

Our heroes are captured and tied up by the bad guys. Just when you think the heroes are going to be goners for sure, the fourth Bungler (remember, there were only three carrying the box earlier) pops out of the box shooting his blaster at any bad guy that moves. Click here to see a short clip of this scene that someone else uploaded to YouTube. His blaster of choice this time freezes all of the bad guys that he shoots. He then unties all of his friends, who join him in the fight. The Bungler with the blaster (that's fun to say out loud) starts to have a little fun with the now-frozen Darth Vader. He makes him pose in silly positions, and switches Darth's helmet for his own hat.

Darth and the Stormtroopers then get tied up and dragged behind the Jeep driven by Luke, while The Bunglers make fun of them. Luke then puts two bits of some machinery together and hits some buttons on it to make a large city appear. Are you as confused as I am? Perhaps this would make more sense if I could understand the dialogue, but somehow I doubt it. The Jawas then come back out of hiding and make peace with our heroes.

Quite a cloudy day for a "desert planet" like Tatooine, isn't it?

Luke and Chewbacca then try to interrogate Darth Vader in a hut. Three of The Bunglers and their Fluorescent girlfriends take off in the Jeep and head toward the ship. One of The Bunglers decides to stay behind with his girlfriend. These two go inside a hut to find a very sad Luke, who is missing Princess Leia. Then, for no apparent reason, the Fluorescent girl gets up from the side of The Bungler and starts kissing Luke.

The Bungler, realizing there is no longer any reason for him to stay on this planet, chases after the ship. Of course, the ship has already started to take off, so The Bungler jumps on the side of the ship and climbs thru the ship's hatch.

When he gets in the ship, he sits around feeling sad about his lost love. I thought it was going to cut to another daydreaming sequence here, but it cuts to a scene of The Bunglers waking up on the beach. Oh snap! Was it all a dream? Well, one of The Bunglers gets up and notices large colorful circles on the ground. They all hear weird noises and turn toward the Jeep and find, to their surprise, that the Jeep is filled with bars of gold. They then look up and see their friends flying away.

I'm at a loss for how to end this article so I'll just write a random thought that I had while reading this review back to myself.

I think I'd like to dress up as that chicken for Halloween this year.

(Posted 8/2007)