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GRAMPA BOB'S ANIMAL PARK SEPTEMBER 22, 2007
by Kelly Once in a while you find a place that defies expectations - a place that is so filled with yummy goodness it should have a candy center. Grampa Bob's Animal Park, located in Mexico, NY is one of those places. Unfortunately, Grampa Bob's does not have
a website. Fortunately for me, my partner in crime, Ham, drives for a living.
And he drives to a lot of strange places. Like
Mexico, NY. Yes, kids, we didn't think there was much in Mexico - other than
the
Grandma Brown's Home Baked Beans Other than Fort Rickey Game Farm (which you can read about here), I have never seen such happy and sweet animals as we saw the day we visited Grampa Bob's! This petting zoo was a peaceful oasis in a vast and boring wasteland. I cannot emphasize enough how friendly the animals were all day long. If they were TV characters and cartoons they'd be Pee Wee Hermans and Casper the Friendly Ghosts (I know, that was just an awful sentence!).
Grampa Bob's has killer slides for the visiting children to play on:
The Big Red and Super Slide!
... and yes, there are rules for The Slides:
(Haha - "slide rules.") This is Pedro. Watch your ass around him (haha - I said "ass," get it?!):
Actually, we weren't sure but I don't think that's Pedro in the shot. And the sign, in case you can't read it, says, "Pedro The Donkey - Hold your hand flat open to feed me I can bite!" These goats were primed and ready for their modeling session, for which I was the photographer:
This guy (or gal) was ready for his (or her) close-up: This ferret kicked so much ass. He was wild and rambunctious and a total joy to watch: He bounced around his cage willy-nilly and woke up his friends...
...in not the nicest way possible! I think this is the single funniest thing I ever saw ferret do:
Oh, wait - I forgot about this:
Best. Ferret. Ever. Meet Toby:
Toby was a pretty low-key donkey. Not that I know anything about Donkey temperaments. Hey, that's a good name for a band: Donkey Temperaments! Toby had a very nosy neighbor:
A crash-course in Llamas, complete with spelling and grammatical errors. I'll let you find them.
We found this odd little building in the middle of everything at Grampa Bob's. That is not some kind of odd ghost in the doorway. I blurred Ham out of the photo to protect his innocence.
This building included the chair at the top of this page. It was filled with all kinds of Project-Absurd-worthy goodness - mostly in the form of artwork.
Some Brownies visited Uncle Bob's in the late 18th Century:
Why am I doing this article as opposed to Ham?
Oh, snap! I guess this is as good a place as any to store some soda...
But, what's that in the bottom left? Why, it's an Eye Teaser game! Can you find 48 errors in that picture? Leave a comment and list whatever you find. The picture below links to a pop-up window with the full-size photo - to make it easier for ya!
Possibly the blandest artwork I have ever seen:
Bears.
The only animal in this Park I was not totally pleased with was this ostrich.
As I approached the fence, the ostrich came hurdling down the slope toward me. According to Wiki Ostriches can run in excess of 40 miles an hour but usually sustain around 30 - I don't think it was going quite that fast, but you can see why this scared the shiz out of me. Ostriches are such strange birds. Totally Jurassic. As much as I was afraid of it, I felt bad for the poor thing. It seemed like the only ostrich there and it was off in a corner - probably because they are so strong it had to be kept away from other animals. I was a bizarre mixture of sad and terrified.
This next guy was gentle as a lamb. I do recall one animal appearing hurt at this zoo, and I think this was the guy. He favored one front foot and kept picking the other one up every time he stepped down on it accidently. Seemed like a very sore hoof. I thought about mentioning it to someone, but these animals seemed so happy and well-taken-care-of that I decided I was sure someone already knew. I hope he's ok now!
These guys rocked!
I mean, can't you just tell this chick knows how to rock?!
Grampa Bob's Antique Shed...
...had all kinds of cool stuff in it:
There was also a food stand, but we didn't get anything:
I've saved the best for last. This was the greatest animal in the whole park. We were walking around and noticed this parrot chattering away. When we approached, we noticed that if we laughed, it would laugh, too. It whistled and made kissing noises and said a lot of words like, "polly want a cracker" and what I think was "happy bird" or "happy birthday." Here is a short video we made, laughing with the parrot:
When you leave Grampa Bob's, sometimes you get a present!
We didn't get a balloon, but we did meet Grampa Bob, who is the sweetest man you could ever imagine. He gave us a peacock feather and we were on our way!
(Posted 07/02/2008) GO TO PROJECT ABSURD HOME PAGE |
Factory, of course. Note how Grandma Brown uses
a "d" in "Grandma" - Grampa Bob will have none of that (other than on the chair
above, he never uses a "d")! That's how we know he's not "Grandpa Bob Brown."
Hahahahahahaha.... did that make sense to anyone but me? Anyway, Ham drives a
lot, noticed a little sign for this place, and we decided to check it out!
